The Wedding

So what does one do at a seven-hour Moroccan wedding? We were told to arrive at 9:00 PM, so we arrived at 10:00. No one was there. Not a soul. We drove around and ended up back at the home by 10:30 when people began to arrive. First we were fed a chicken tajin with olives then a mutton and prune tajin followed by fruit. Delicious! Next we went up to the roof and waited while the band played and people danced. The roof was a fairly small area decorated with a few rugs, Christmas lights, a banner and the focal point - a throne for the couple.

At 1:20 AM, Fatima Ezzahara and Farid arrived amidst much shouting, honking and music. Lovely in a white caftan, she stepped into the bride carrier, was hoisted up by four men and then paraded and danced around with great fanfare so everyone could see and admire her. Then she was finally placed on the throne next to the groom who had managed to sneak in - how is it they always get to do that?

After a bit of dancing and some pictures, Gerald and the girls were given special permission to go - the earliest to leave at 2:00 AM! The other children stayed all night. One ten-year-old boy fell asleep later and was ridiculed greatly as a result! Several tried to leave at about 4:00 AM, and were promptly told to get back in their seats where they stayed until the wedding was over.

After the first entrance, the bride went downstairs and changed to the next wedding outfit, entered grandly again (though not in the carrier), smiled for pictures, watched the dancing, then left to change into her next outfit. By the end of the night, she had come in five different dresses (all were rented), the last of which was a western-style wedding dress. You may notice the groom didn't have five outfits. I think he had two. No one really noticed him, poor guy. Once again, the groom got off easy.

The grandest was the Fez wedding outfit (last pic). I felt so sorry for FZ when she entered looking like she had been stuck in a box with no hope for escape. Apparently she did not want to wear it, but her mother-in-law insisted. Thanks, Lois, for not making me wear this at our wedding! Hoisted up on a carrier as was the groom in another carrier, they were danced around again. This time the music was much wilder and almost frenzied. Around and around they went, up and down, back and forth to the pulsing rhythm of the drums, women doing their special wedding yelp and the religious ones doing a chant. It was a truly amazing sight and easily the climax of the wedding.

And the dancing - oh my, the dancing. How do they do it? My body is all connected - top half to bottom half. I'm convinced some Moroccans are not connected. Their lower half can move completely independently of the top half - dancing in such a way that would send me straight to the chiropractor. Other dancing was Egyptian-style with mostly hand movements and easy steps. And yes, of course, I had to try the dancing too - the Egyptian kind, that is! Often the women all held hands and one person danced in the middle. The men mostly danced separately in their little corner. Arabic-origin Moroccan music is quite tolerable with a good beat and the classic lilting Arabic sound. But after seven hours of what seemed like the same song, it got a little old.

Morocco comes across as so tame and almost western. You certainly do not feel as if you are in a developing country and sometimes you can even convince yourself that our customs might not be that different from theirs at all. Then you go to a wedding - the heart and soul of the social life and the root of a family - and you realize you're not in Kansas anymore.

Moroccan weddings usually do not have a religious aspect to them. Apparently, you can get the Imam (pastor) to bless the marriage at the end, but because they ask such high prices and make so many demands, most weddings are done without it. I tried to imagine Gerald and I starting our life off together without the blessings and beautiful passages about relationships and love found in the Book. They do not have those words and those examples. Marriages here often end up loveless and functional with couples finding their fulfillment in other ways. How I pray for something different for this beautiful couple. They did pick each other as is done more and more, so that right there is a good start.

Slowly the stars disappeared and the sky grew warm with the morning light. Just after the sun rose at 5:30, the bride and groom left and the wedding was over. Not once did I feel tired or ready to go home. As a matter of fact, I came home totally hyper. But then I crashed and a few days later completely lost my voice due to lack of sleep! Oh well, it was very much worth it!

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