Crazy Americans

I'm used to sticking out. All my life I've been an oddity - a blond-haired resident of Afghanistan and Pakistan does not exactly go unnoticed. And then in the States - well, I'm pretty weird there too. But being an adult with my children's interests in mind is a whole new thing for me. The issue now is schooling. Here it is common to put your child in school at the age of two from 8:30 to 12:30, then back from 2:30 to 5:30 with the bus bringing children home by 6:30 PM. This is true even if the mother stays home or the family cannot really afford private school. Once I was in a home where the two-year-old was woken up from her nap and sent off screaming to the afternoon session of school. The mother and retired grandparents all lived and stayed in the home, but still she had to go.

At three, children are taught cursive, at age four, they are taught addition and subtraction, and at age five - they are considered too old for art and music which must be replaced by "serious" subjects like writing the same number a hundred times.

Children of middle and upperclass families have a nanny soon after birth who is basically left to raise the children until school (sometimes even when the parents are home after work). Because of a very stratified society, it is common for the children to rule the nanny. Just the other day, I saw a 5-year-old throw three handfuls of rocks at the woman that cares for her. When parents are home, they rarely read to or interact with their children outside of normal family conversation.

Into this setting we waltz with our crazy ideas and ask at the school if Kendra (4) can go only three mornings a week to school, and they look at us as if we have just walked off a UFO. They cannot imagine why on earth we want to do this. I explain I believe a young child can learn what she needs at home by being read to, exploring and playing - and they stare at me with glazed expressions. The idea is ridiculous, unheard of, and downright irresponsible. I try to say that if children are introduced to concepts when they are ready, they will learn quickly rather than being force-fed too young. Again, blank stares. I tell them I want to spend time with my child and that these years are precious - and they look at me funny. Finally, I say I'm a teacher. Ah! That seems to be O.K. with some. Last year we went through all of this as well since we wanted Katrina in half-day kindergarten. The problem apparently is that if our children do not go every day, all day, they will miss out on "important curriculum" that apparently is crucial to being a little person - like writing in cursive.

So we have found one school that will let us do this strange three-mornings-a-week thing for Kendra with the goal of introducing her to French which I could not do at home. Of course, when I take her out during school hours, I'll get quizzed about why she is not in school - and I'll try once again to explain myself, and they'll probably walk away thinking . . . "Crazy Americans!"