June

Here's an update of life here, there and everywhere -

Mom has arrived in Kansas safely after two months in Afghanistan. I don't have too many details from her yet, but she says it was "exhausting" and "exciting." My brother is still in Kabul, but his family has moved back to North Dakota for safety reasons.

Gerald is teaching a double load for the summer session and we rarely see the poor guy any more. One of his favorite quotes from the student evaluations was, "The best accounting teacher I've ever had!" Never mind that Gerald is his first accounting teacher!

Katrina is in school until July 3. Thankfully she doesn't know that all her American peers are running around jumping in pools by now!

Kendra finished the school year last week and is (impatiently) waiting for Katrina to be done.

I have been busy helping a friend who got serious food poisoning while trekking in the High Atlas Mountains about 8 hours from here. She had to ride draped over a mule for over an hour to get off the mountain and ended up in two different hospitals with atrocious care. Thankfully she is back in Ifrane close by so we can keep an eye on her. She is wondering how long a person can feel so bad! Please keep Rebecca in your prayers (this is the same friend I wrote about a year ago who was so sick - we think she's got some very long-term visitors in her intestines....).

And - we are gearing up to come back to the States for a month! We will mostly be with our parents but we will also be in Topeka for a little bit.

And, in other news...

Here are the girls saying goodbye to our dear friends and neighbors. The father is Moroccan and the mother is German. The family will move back to Germany while the father moves to the Emirates for a higher-paying job. We see the separation of families so much here - many of our friends have a spouse on another continent. This family lived across the hall from us and all through the looong winter, our girls played endlessly with each other. Rokia (back left) is the big sister and Aischa (on Katrina's back) and Sarah (hugging Kendra) were our girls' best buds. Many tears were shed as the pain of living in a place with extremely high turnover is once again highlighted.

These girls are risking their lives to cross the stream to steal food from a wicked witch who keeps casting spells on them forcing them back to the opposite bank. And here you thought this was just a picture of girls playing in a stream!

Father's Day picnic with friends Joe Walwick, the Smiths and the MacArthurs - hooray for great dads!

Restaurant Katrina and Kendra - serving Asmaa with the contents of half the kitchen along with several things that do not belong in the kitchen...

What? When? Where?

Gerald with former student

Graduates trying to get organized for graduation pictures.

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You would think that an event as big as a graduation at one of the most elite universities in Morocco would be well-advertised. But two days before, we knew:

1. Where to park

2. The location

3. The day

Does it seem there's something missing? Perhaps the time?

In an oral culture, signs and printed information in general are, well, lacking. For centuries people have passed on information by word of mouth. So written information just seems unnecessary. After three years of living here, we can count on one hand the amount of times we have seen an event announced with the event, place, time and date. Often just the event will be announced with no other information. Everyone is then expected to go around asking questions until they find the answers.

This naturally drives all of us information-obsessed Americans crazy. While we are shaking our fists, pulling our hair out and pleading, "JUST TELL US WHEN GRADUATION STARTS!!!" The Moroccans are shaking their heads saying, "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING???"

And so continues the dance of cultures who often step on each other's toes without even realizing they are dancing to different songs.

And yes, we made it to graduation on time. We just had to ask someone.

Goodbye, Uncle Dan

Today is the funeral for Gerald's uncle Dan. He was the last surviving brother of George, Gerald's father. He and his wife, Martha, celebrated 61 years of marriage only the day before. Together they had six wonderful children - all who are grown, married and have children of their own. Uncle Dan even got to hold his first great-grandchild a week before he died! Four years ago, Uncle Dan had a stroke followed by a series of health problems. The last time we saw him, he was so weak and frail. But now he is probably dancing around in heaven, glad to be free of his weakness.

But he will be missed very much on earth. I was always impressed with his incredibly kind and gentle manner. My love and prayers go to his family today.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Saturday our Fez tour guide told us how 9-11 and other acts of terrorism are condemned by Islam and, in the average Moroccan’s mind, that those who do such things are not Muslims. Indeed, Morocco’s brand of Islam is a gentler, kinder and more peaceful way than the violent version I grew up seeing in Pakistan and Afghanistan. It has certainly been a relief to me to see Islam lived out in such a different way here in Morocco.

So that’s the good. Now for the bad and ugly.

The very next day - Sunday - we were buying shoes in a nearby city when I heard a commotion and someone screaming. When I walked around the corner of the store, I was horrified to see a boy – not more than 17 years old, beating a girl about the same age. She was lying on the ground and he was attacking her with all his force while onlookers seemed to do nothing. I screamed “Safi!” which means “Enough!” The boy stopped and walked away from the girl past me.

That’s when I saw the knife. He turned back around, raised it up, and ran towards the girl again. An elderly man put up his crutch and blocked the boy’s way as several others calmed him down. He turned and walked past me again, knife still clutched in his hand, but done.

Replaying the incident in my head over and over again does nothing to soften the horror over seeing something so close that I know goes on every single day behind closed doors. The Koran says it is acceptable to beat your wife if she is behaving badly (which could mean a lot of things). This seems to translate to men being able to beat female members of the family for shaming the family honor. We and others think this was probably a brother beating his sister.

As I was telling our friend Asmaa about it, she interrupted me before I was finished and very matter-of-factly said, “She probably was seen with a boy (thus shaming the family). So her father beat her. Then that was probably her brother you saw. Later she probably got beaten by her father again. And I bet her uncle beat her too.” I asked her if people watching would have thought the boy was in the wrong or the girl. She said without hesitation that the girl would have been condemned. Then she said sarcastically, “It’s no problem for the son to be out with a girl. But the daughter? Never!” Listening to her, I wondered for the first time if this is why she always speaks with such disdain of her brothers and was reminded again why she says she’ll never marry a local Berber man because “…they all beat their wives.” I really hope that is an exaggeration.

Our friend, Jenny, saw three men hitting their wives all in one week. Distressed, she asked her highly educated language teacher what she thinks when she sees such a thing. The conversation went something like this:
Teacher: “I would think that the woman did something bad.”
Jenny: “What if she didn’t?”
Teacher: Look of incomprehension
Jenny: “What if my husband beat me?”
Teacher: “He would never do that. You are a good woman.”
Jenny: “What if he were a bad man?”
Teacher: Look of incomprehension

And so goes the two sides of life here – seeing the gentler side of Islam but being reminded at times of difficulties like this. Thankfully, we know many families who do not behave in this way, who condemn this behavior and who have loving family relationships. All this makes me want to know what the official laws regarding abuse are.