JOY

Here is something I wrote for our church advent meditations. It recalls a time of depression resulting from 1.5 years of insomnia. Someday I'll get the whole story written down, but this is what I have for now!

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There was a time when Joy went away
It went away so long that I doubted its very existence
I saw the smiles on the faces of others and assumed they were fake
Because mine was
I even questioned whether I had ever experienced joy
or whether I ever would again
Odd for someone who had previously been full of Joy
Indeed, Hope had marched right out the door with Joy

And while they were out, Fear and Despair had entered
And made their dark home
How I hated them
I fought them
I prayed against them
I clung to God
Every moment

At the end of a long, dark year
One night
As I rocked my babies
I realized
The Darkness was gone

Joy and Hope had returned

Like someone who has been sick a long time and finally feels better, I basked in the glow of feeling well again

Walking in the crisp air the next morning, I promised God that I would
Never
Never
Never
Forget what it was like to be without Joy
And I promised Him that I would never take His Joy for granted again
That I would treasure it
Cling to it
Rejoice in it
Spread it